Holdup Artist
by NighttimePhilosopher
Summary: Amethyst takes Peridot to meet an old friend. Amedot.


(I originally tried to finish this for amedot day. A week late yay.)

Happy Amedot day! (October 15th, anniversary of American premier of 'Too far")

You will appreciate the title once you read through to the end. I hope you enjoy!

* * *

The green and purple gems leisurely strolled through the very dim streets of Beach city. Luckily, the street lamps were on, otherwise Peridot said she was going to use her gem light. Amethyst didn't feel like explaining to any evening strollers who happened to pass by why light was emitting from her forehead. No matter how much she loved Peridot, the former Homeworld gem was a hassle to go out with due to her alien origins. She bought culture shock to most people she met.

Amethyst escorted the green gem alongside the road, on the pathway. Peridot clung loosely to her arm to stay close. She looked around curiously, enjoying the experience to see the many things she had read up about. There was also many things she didn't recognize, which required further study when she returned home. Her green eyes eventually wandered to Amethyst, who had been calmly watching her the whole time. A look of confusion swept over her features as they rounded a corner.

"Where are we going, Amethyst?" she asked, eyes looking a little nervous. She didn't know her way around these parts.

"I want you to meet a friend of mine." Amethyst replied. "She lives around here."

"Is she a human? These are all human houses." She asked, making a guess by looking at the repetitive buildings that they passed.

"Yep. She's…ah, wait, which way was it again? I don't…" Amethyst trailed off, detaching Peridot and turning around. She stood out on the road slightly to catch the name of a street sign. "It's this way" she said, grabbing Peridot's hand and tugging her along.

They reached a house that didn't differ much in appearance to the others in the street. It was modern suburban, and had a garage, which was closed and locked. They went to the porch, which was lit up and undercover. The purple gem thought it looked welcoming, but Amethyst knew that the habitants of the building only enjoyed the company of a certain few, mostly members of her own family. Greg, Steven, herself. But she knew Peridot would certainly be allowed to join that select group if her connection to her was known.

She rapped on the door obnoxiously, rough purple knuckles making a loud sound to alert the inhabitants of her majestic presence. She did it for two reasons; one, to irritate Vidalia. Two, if the onion mama wasn't home, then Sour Cream would most definitely have his headphones on. Either way, she needed to be acknowledged.

Soon enough, they heard footsteps stamping from within the house. The door was thrown open, hard. A middle-aged, blond woman stepped out beyond the door in red slippers. Her hair was short and looked slightly styled into the shape of an onion. She was rugged up in a brown nightgown, and looked a bit tired and irritable, ready to grumble at the doorknockers. Her features smoothened when she saw who had caused the racket.

"Hey V!" Amethyst beamed.

The woman's demeanour changed and immediately her face grew cheeky. "Amethyst, what are you doing here at this time? You're not here for free food again, are you?" Amethyst just fake pouted. "Ahahaha, I'm just messin' with ya." She grinned. Then, she must have noticed the additional company. "Oh! Who's this?" Vidalia nodded towards Peridot, who was standing behind the purple gem. Amethyst noticed the woman silently acknowledge the green gem atop Peridot's forehead.

Peridot stared at her with shy curiosity, holding Amethyst's hand for comfort. The woman had teased Amethyst like she was familiar with her, and she noticed similarities between them, despite them being gem and human.

"This is Peridot. She's that gem from space we were tryna find a while ago." Amethyst explained, pulling the green gem forward for Vidalia to see. The technician shuffled awkwardly.

Confusion came across Vidalia's face for a moment, as from what Amethyst had told her, Peridot was a gem that they had been trying to hunt down for months. But Amethyst was very relaxed around this gem, and they were even holding hands. The experienced woman (who was inexperienced with aliens) did her best to understand the situation, hoping Amethyst would elaborate once they were inside. "Hey Peridot. I'm Vidalia. Nice to meet-cha!" she offered her worked hand.

Peridot recognized the gesture right away and took the hand with her small, green one. "It's a pleasure." She said, wanting to make good first impressions with Amethyst's human friend.

"Wow, super formal. Nice." Vidalia teased harmlessly. Peridot let go and backed up behind Amethyst again, of whom the woman lent down and enveloped in a squeezing hug. The purple gem's hair ruffled as she moved her short arms to grip her back. The onion-haired woman gave Amethyst a kiss on the cheek and the gem giggled. Peridot noticed.

Vidalia stood her full height again, looking at both of them. "Aw, you didn't bring Steven to come play with Onion. Anyway, Come in, come in. It's getting dark out." She beckoned with her hands. Amethyst complied and Peridot followed her. Vidalia led them through the thin hallway that led to the kitchen. The walls were adorned with many paintings of landscapes and people. Peridot peculiarly perceived that some of the paintings were of Amethyst.

Amethyst seemed to notice too. "Oh hey, it's me." She pointed to a few while they were walking. "How come these are out here?"

"I just thought that instead of having them lie around in the garage collecting dust, they could use their pretty faces to decorate the house, y'know? And now I can look at you every day and be inspired to paint something new."

"Aw, shucks V!" Amethyst sounded embarrassed, reaching the kitchen table and taking a seat. Vidalia had started making a beverage, but kept talking over her shoulder.

"You're lucky I'm feeling charitable and let you in, because I was just about to watch Under the Knife reruns in bed"

"Bed? Dude, it's like, 7:30. You're gettin' OLD!"

"I'M getting old? You're 3,000 years old, aren't you?"

"Eh, somethin' like that. Anyway, what-"

Their banter made Peridot feel left out, but that was okay because the green gem was distracted by a weird feeling. It was an emotion that she couldn't put a finger on. Whatever it was, it flared up whenever Vidalia did something nice for Amethyst, like feed her the used tea bag or compliment her. It wasn't a feeling liked by her because it burned and made her uncomfortable. She felt like it would go away if she cuddled Amethyst tightly all to herself. But she knew she shouldn't do that. So then she felt conflicted.

Soon, the three of them moved to the burgundy couch in the living room. Amethyst sat in the middle, Peridot sat flush against her, and Vidalia sat on the other edge. After a few laughs, Vidalia spoke a little more seriously.

"So" she started, putting her tea down. "How come you guys came to see me in my downtime? Why do I have to put up with you at this time of night?"

"Aha, I guess it is a bit late." Amethyst said, brushing hair out of her face and grinning nervously. "I wanted you to meet Peridot."

"Yeah, I guess that gives me a reason to chat, because I do wanna get to know her." Her eyes slid to Peridot, who straightened a little under her gaze. "Peridot. Tell me about yourself. What kinda gem are you?" Vidalia asked. She cupped her cheek in her hand and smiled, waiting for a response.

"I-I'm a peridot…." The green gem stuttered back, looking confused.

Amethyst and Vidalia looked at each other, then started laughing wildly. Peridot jumped in her seat in shock. "W-What did I say?" she squeaked. Getting no answers but hoots from the other two, she sunk into Amethyst's side, embarrassed.

"Hahah, no no. Peri." Amethyst tried to settle down. "S-She wants to know about YOU, heh heh." The purple gem wiped a tear from her eye and put an arm around the flustered gem who had hid herself in her flank. "You, the great and lovable. Not your gem type."

"Ah…" Peridot understood. "Me…"

Vidalia quit her laughing. "You're funny. That's one thing I know about you now."

Peridot found herself cocking her head, because Amethyst had called her the same thing when they had first started getting along. They really were similar and it made her gut clench.

"Yeah, she's hilarious." Amethyst says, sounding a little reminiscent. The purple gem let go and put her hand on Peridot's, but Vidalia couldn't really see because they were squished so close together. Peridot felt reaffirmed by the action.

"Right!" Peridot started off again. She wanted to impress, so she had to show that she was talented and relatable. "Well, I am the newest and _smartest_ member of the Crystal gems." She said, puffing her chest out and prodding a thumb to it, while Amethyst snickered. "I am a technician and certified Kindergartener, and an avid watcher and fan of Camp Pining Hearts. In fact, I have made multiple complex-"

"Oh, you're into romance kinds of shows?" Vidalia stopped her there, asking promptingly. She had a feeling she wouldn't understand the other stuff Peridot was going on about, so she went with something she knew.

"Ah, yes, well, no, not exactly. I just really like the battle formations the characters could make together." Peridot replied. Vidalia smiled, but she was confused. Amethyst stepped in.

"Yeah, she really likes that show. You got Lapis into it too, didn't you?" She prompts Peridot.

"Yes, Lapis enjoys CPH too. I have a roommate, Lapis Lazuli." The green gem states proudly.

"A roommate? Don't you live with Amethyst and Steven?" Vidalia asked. This was the stuff she was interested in.

"No. I live with Lapis in a barn kindly provided to us by Steven's father."

"It's better than it sounds." Amethyst butts in, seeing the negative look on Vidalia's face. Living in a barn was not exactly a fancy living arrangement idea to a human. "It's Greg's barn. His family one."

"Yes, it has many scrap metal parts that I can manufacture things out of. It's perfect for someone like me to tinker around all day and invent something new to help me live better on this planet. And for my friend Lapis to feel safe in."

"Well that's worked out good for you, hasn't it?" Vidalia said warmly. "You also pointed out something that I wanted to ask. You aren't from here, are you?"

"Planet Earth? No, I come from the Gem Homeworld." Peridot answered.

"Yeah. You came in a big green hand. I remember now." The woman says. "We had to evacuate the city. A lot of windows shattered when you were landing."

"Uhh, y-yes." Peridot's voice broke nervously. Amethyst gripped at the violet star on her knee and the little gem's hand subconsciously. It felt like it only happened a little while ago, and now Peridot was sitting here, holding her hand. It had been two and a half years ago when she first came to Earth, fitted with limb enhancers and accompanied by a hulking escort. Amethyst was so frightened back then.

"It's easy to get your event mixed up with all the other weird stuff that goes on in Beach city." Vidalia gave a cute chuckle. Then her demeanour turned a little more serious. "But I think I remember yours because Amethyst came and talked to me about it."

Peridot looked to Amethyst, who didn't look at anyone. "Yeah. It was back when G and P were fighting. Home was rough. Steven and Vidalia are the ones who got me through it."

"Pearl tricked Garnet for a reason, and she broke her trust. Garnet didn't even look at Pearl for a week." Vidalia continued for Amethyst. "Their fighting made home awkward for Amethyst and Steven, so they came over here one night, like this. Amethyst told me everything, and I just thought 'Wow, our lives are so different. I'm a mum with two kids and a fisherman husband, and she's a purple crime fighter with an all-female family raising a little boy.' You were really holding everything together while it was trying to fall apart."

"Thanks Vidalia." Amethyst said shyly, scratching her cheek with her free hand. She was flattered and blushing. Peridot felt sad, wishing she knew about this so she could comfort Amethyst. But she had a major question too.

"Why did Pearl deceive Garnet?"

Vidalia looked for confirmation from the unusually quiet Amethyst. "It was when we were trying to catch you." Amethyst answers, turning to Peridot. "That distress signal thingy you sent out. We destroyed the Communications hub with the help of Sardonyx to stop it. But Pearl secretly rebuilt the hub and blamed you. And then, she kept forming Sardonyx with Garnet, lying to her. She just wanted to feel strong, I can she where she was coming from. Me and Steven found out and told Garnet. And then they wouldn't talk. It was so frustrating, Peri." Amethyst sighed. "And then Pearl was desperate to get Garnet's approval and trust back. She tried everything to track you down. And our moral got so low. Every time we found you we fumbled. You laughed at us, remember? Heh. Anyway, we finally tracked you to the Gem ship. And you trapped us there. Luckily, that's what did it. That's what got them to finally talk again. They formed Sardonyx to break free. They made up. And we nearly got you that time, too, haha. We got a piece of your foot."

Vidalia spoke up. "I just realised. Peridot, you started AND resolved Pearl and Garnet's feud. If you hadn't sent that message, Pearl wouldn't have lied to Garnet. But if you hadn't trapped them, then they wouldn't have talked it out."

"Huh, you're right, Vidalia. I was the independent variable that influenced the dependent variables." Peridot said, considering it now in her own terms too. Amethyst giggled 'nerd' and leaned on Peridot.

"Yes…?" Vidalia nods her head unsurely at the terms. "Anyway, there's still a huge gap in my knowledge. How did the Crystal gems go from chasing you to, well, _that?"_ She asked, gesturing to Amethyst as a whole nuzzling into Peridot.

"I kidnapped Steven and Garnet destroyed my physical form in retaliation." Peridot stated.

"She means poofed. And there's more to it than _that_ , Peri."

"Right. I was trying to return home to avoid the impending doom which was the Cluster, a giant, forced fusion of deceased gem shards from a rebellion war five thousand years ago. It was incubating secretly under the Earth's crust, and when it formed, the Earth would've fractured and exploded, killing all life for good and erasing the planet from Gem star maps. We all would have perished."

"Whoa, okay, rein it in a little, girl." Amethyst fretted, seeing Vidalia's expression.

"…..oh. Well, it didn't happen." Vidalia shrugged, recovering quickly. She was chill. "I mean, you keep talking about it in past tense. And I'm not dead right now, so…"

"Yeah! We worked together to make a drill!" Amethyst said excitedly, grabbing Peridot's shoulder.

"Yes. Steven and I drilled down hundreds of miles to the Earth's core and communicated with the Cluster. Then we safely bubbled it."

"Isn't there lava down there?" Vidalia asked, her pitch increasing nervously.

"Technically, magma, and super-heated Peridotite."

"And diamonds, probably. Not Yellow Diamond though." Amethyst says to herself.

"Um, does Greg know anything about this?" Vidalia swallowed, looking at Amethyst.

"Yeah, don't worry. You look exactly like him, ha hah!" the purple gem pointed, laughing.

"I'm a parent. I have kids, so I know how he feels. My face is justified!" she chortled. "If I was told my boys went miles underground to talk with a giant dead cluster thing, I'd kill whoever let them!"

"Heh, yeah, it was pretty scary. We all wanted to go together." Amethyst explained. "But we couldn't. He had to talk to us through a watermelon, and that might've been the last time I saw him. Peri too. At the same time that the Cluster was gonna blow, Malachite decided to pop herself outta the ocean, so me, Garnet and Pearl had to fuse to make Alexandrite. Man, that was a crazy fight – we nearly didn't keep it together – but we bet her. We had no time to get back, so Peridot had to take Steven with her to drill to the Cluster. Yeah, scary stuff. We did it though. They did it."

"Yeesh….Amethyst, you come here and tell me the craziest stuff. Your life sounds like a whirlwind every time I talk to you. You're out there fighting, and I'm in here, painting. I guess…Thanks for saving us all, guys. We didn't even know" she sort of chuckled "although now, I do remember feeling a few earthquakes quite a while ago."

"Heh, no problem. We live here too. 's the least we can do." Amethyst yawned, leaning into Peridot. Vidalia watched the two, and they all sat in silence after the heavy topic. It was nice to feel safe again, at least for now. They broke into a simpler conversation and that took up a lot of their focus. After a while, Vidalia turned the focus on the gems again.

"I've noticed you two are very cuddly and clingy." She remarked. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say that you have something going on between you." She looked between the two of them suspiciously. "I mean, I don't get rock culture, but-"

"Actually, V," Amethyst blushed, interrupting "good topic. That's why I wanted you to meet her. Me a-and Peri are dating. She's my girlfriend."

Peridot twiddled her feet while watching Vidalia's reaction.

Vidalia's eyes widened and her mouth curved uncontrollably. "No way. You two really are? Amethyst, _the_ Amethyst, is taken?"

"Yep." Amethyst kicked her feet giddily. "By this cutie green bean here." She pointed to a shy Peridot.

Vidalia looked at the both of them. The couch was too big for them to place their feet on the ground, so they were both swinging their feet shyly. "Well look at that. You're already copying habits." She laughed.

The middle-aged woman then gave the purple gem a dangerous look. "I should've made my move years ago when I had the chance." She held Amethyst's gaze intensely. Then she snorted and cracked another grin. That angry burning feeling in Peridot's stomach became aggravated and she clenched her partner's hand tightly.

Amethyst laughed, unaware. "Too late! I'm on a date!" she teased back.

Vidalia scooted closer, and she took on a proud, sentimental tone – confusingly different for Peridot to register. "You've always been the one who becomes the third wheel when your friends get together. Now it's finally your turn. I'm proud of you." She reached over and locked Amethyst in a headlock, giving her a noogie and scruffing up her hair. "You deserve it, world-saver."

The purple gem wiggled and wheezed in her grasp. "Don't get all mushy on me! Get off! Haha!" The green gem got the urge to give Vidalia a good bite so she would do so, but that wouldn't go down well with Amethyst.

The lady relented and retreated. Peridot immediately moved and put an arm defensively around Amethyst's tummy, leaning her face into her bulky purple shoulder.

"Peridot?" The green gem jumped at the sound of her name coming from the woman she was currently seething at. Vidalia had stood up with her empty tea cup. "You've got good taste. Be good to Amethyst. She's a nice girl." Her voice was not malicious, and it didn't feel like a warning, especially when the green gem noticed her kind brown eyes. It seemed Vidalia was putting her trust in her, and it confused Peridot's growly feeling. She wasn't sure how to respond to that. So she nodded, because it was all she felt she could do in her current state.

"Muuuum! Stop embarrassing me in front of my girlfriend!" Amethyst whined.

Vidalia chuckled and left temporarily to the kitchen. "I'm just gonna go get us some cookies and chuck this cup in the sink."

"Sweet, thanks."

Peridot and Amethyst sat in a seemingly comfortable silence. Amethyst looked very content in the home she was familiar with. Peridot was in fact very frustrated. She squished into Amethyst tightly and held her in an attempt to get rid of her horrible feelings. Amethyst looked down at her with a smile until she noticed Peridot was not smiling.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

Peridot grunted grumpily in response and buried her face into Amethyst's arm again. It was not going away and Peridot thought that when Vidalia came back in, she would cry angry tears at the sight of her.

"Peri?" Amethyst began stroking the back of her head. "Why are you grumpy?"

"I-I don't feel good." The green gem muffled.

"What?"

Peridot popped her face out and looked up at Amethyst. "I don't feel good. My stomach has a bad feeling in it."

"But you don't have a stomach to feel bad with."

"I know." She growled. "But I feel angry."

"Why do you feel angry?" She cupped Peridot's cheek to get her to look at her.

Peridot attempted to start gathering evidence as to why she was angry. "She….She's too nice to you." She blurted without context.

Amethyst looked confused. "What do you mean? V? V is-"

"And she teases you." Peridot added.

Amethyst gave a reason. "Yeah, we've been friends for-"

But Peridot interrupts with another reason that she might be angry. "She laughed at me."

"Vidalia was only joki-" Amethyst tried.

"She thinks you're pretty." Peridot said.

"She's just sayin' that." The purple gem excuses. But the green gem won't listen.

"And…" Her tone became low and vulnerable.

"I thought I was the only one permitted to kiss you."

The face of the green gem was a frustrated and sad one. She honestly looked betrayed. Amethyst's heart stopped.

"What do you mean?" The purple gem was very quiet too.

"She kissed you," Peridot pointed to her cheek. "here."

"Oh-" her voice cracks. "No, Peri, it's okay." Amethyst cooed reassuringly.

"N-No! It's _not_ okay!" The green gem raised her voice. "I don't like it!"

"No no, I mean, it's okay because it's not in that way. It's not romantic."

"But she flirted with you and called your face 'pretty'! She likes you!" Peridot's face looked so pained and it seemed she was on the verge of tears.

"No she doesn't! Pear, listen, me and Vidalia are like family. She's someone I've always got along with because we both used to hang out and tease Greg and stuff. She's a friend of mine, that's it."

"Friends don't kiss. Only lovers kiss. Why did she kiss you then?" Peridot spat. Her voice was still growly and threatened.

It dawned on Amethyst that Peridot had never been taught the many ways to express familiar and friendship love. All she knew was that friends and family gave hugs; and that kissing was to express romantic love (courtesy of the media she consumed and Amethyst). So she was confusing Vidalia's affection and getting _very_ jealous.

"I'm sorry I'm only explaining this now, but with friends and family, you can show them that you love them with kisses too. Just on the cheeks or forehead though. Like you said, kisses on the lips are for lovers only. I love you romantically, and you love me romantically. Vidalia and I love each other as friends. So don't get jealous, okay?"

Peridot looked stunned at this new information. Especially the last part. "Jea…lous? I'm getting jealous? This is what it feels like?"

"Yep. Sorta burn-y, uncomfortable, grumpy feeling in your gut? Ruins your whole mood?"

"Yes." Peridot leans into Amethyst again and sighs heavily. "I don't like it. I just want you all to myself right now. Even though _now_ I understand Vidalia's affections."

"Ooo, Possessidot." Amethyst murmured teasingly, returning the green gem's grip and leaning her head on fluffy triangle hair. Peridot makes another grumpy noise, but she's smiling.

"I love you, okay? That's all that matters. I don't like Vidalia that way, and she doesn't like me. She has Yellowtail anyway, heh. She's taken too. You don't need to worry about a thing."

Vidalia re-entered the room with a bowl of brown chocolate cookies that looked a little crumbly. She spotted the pair cuddling. "You two are cute. Have these cookies because they've got gluten in them. Sour Cream can't have 'em, and they're too sugary for Onion."

Amethyst untangled herself from Peridot and shuffled when Vidalia placed the cookies on the coffee table. "You know I can eat anything, 'dalia."

"I know YOU can. Make sure you share them with Peridot. And don't make a mess on my couch." Vidalia instructed.

"Oh, I can't eat food." Peridot said meekly.

But Amethyst shouted over the top of her. "Heh, I'll _share_ 'em alright!"

Amethyst grabbed a cookie from the collection and popped it into Peridot's mouth when she wasn't expecting it. Luckily, her mouth had been half-open to repeat what she had said since she had been rudely shouted over. The gem accidently gripped it with her sharp teeth and the cookie didn't fall out. Peridot went to spit it out (since she couldn't swallow or digest it) when Amethyst took her chin.

Peridot froze as the purple gem took the chocolate cookie with her own mouth, so now both of them were biting the cookie. The green gem could feel Amethyst's blunt but strong teeth gripping onto the rigid surface through the vibrations of movement.

The green gem blushed to her ears when Amethyst made eye contact. She stared at Peridot with purposeful low-lidded eyes that shone with confidence. All of her attention was on her green partner. Peridot felt overwhelmed and her saliva started to dampen the cookie, so she let go and Amethyst pulled away with her treat. She crunched on it without the use of her hands masterfully, eating it and leaving cookie crumbs on her face (and the couch).

"Amethyst, seriously, what did I _just_ say?" Vidalia growled, annoyed. But the green gem couldn't hear her over the purple gem purring "thankyou", followed by her leaning in and giving her a kiss. Peridot could taste the sugar on her lips and despite herself, she was tempted to lick it off. Amethyst pulled away with a smirk.

She turned and looked to Vidalia innocently. "Whaaat? I shared."

The former homeworld gem was a deep green to be seen kissing with Amethyst by another individual. But she also felt a little proud and giddy. And then she realised that maybe Amethyst wanted her to feel that way because the purple gem knew of her jealous feelings. She wanted her to feel appreciated and A-okay. Peridot smiled to herself.

* * *

"-and Lapis and I are just laughing and laughing! We don't even get why the food is crying, or why it was even talking in the first place! And why was there a spoon? Spoons are indigestible metal culinary items, so they don't count as 'breakfast'! None of it makes sense, and we can't make sense of why we were laughing either! It was so funny!" Peridot laughed, high-pitched and hysterically, gasping for unneeded air. Amethyst and Vidalia were laughing crazily next to her.

"And then what happened?" Vidalia wheezed. She found Peridot to be funnier than her actual story, and guessed that was why Amethyst liked her too.

"They all turned into a mega-sandwich and cried even more! I don't even-I don't even understand! Oh, oh, you should've seen Lapis! She was covering her face while rolling on her back, laughing! They were real laughs, I could tell." Peridot said.

Amethyst slowed her laughing suddenly. "Oh man, you're a riot." She wiped a tear and stood up. "I just gotta go pee, 'cause if I laugh anymore I'm gonna wet my pants." She trotted off to Vidalia's bathroom.

"Yeah, don't do that, hah."

"Alright." Peridot called after her partner. She looked to Vidalia since it was just them now. Her feelings towards the woman had eased very much once she understood her intentions, but now she felt awkward.

"So," Vidalia says, glancing where Amethyst had disappeared to before looking at Peridot. "What do you two get up to? Do you have nicknames for each other?" she asks, trying to keep her voice quiet. But she was still obviously excited for a reason.

Peridot felt like she was prodding, but she had learned that sharing casual information is what humans do and ask about commonly, and that Vidalia is not a threat to her and Amethyst. "Amethyst calls me all sorts of 'nick' names, but I don't commonly call her anything else but her name. I'm not used to changing a name to suit myself. It's not what I was surrounded with back on Homeworld. Besides," Her cheeks darked and she looks to her fiddling hands. "Her name is beautiful as it is."

Vidalia blinks and her cheeks are slightly pink. Peridot noticed. "I'm sorry, but that was the cutest and cheesiest thing I've ever heard, and I completely see why Amethyst chose you as her girlfriend."

"Oh." Peridot went to say more, but her lips just opened and closed uselessly.

"Heh, I didn't mean to embarrass you, Peridot. Sorry. I just-I'm really excited." Vidalia sounded like she couldn't organize her thoughts.

"About what?" Peridot questioned. Was something going to happen in the near future that she didn't know about?

"Just…you guys." The green gem's eyebrows raised. "Hah, you seem so surprised. I mean, I'm excited for you two. Seriously. You see Peridot, I've known Amethyst for a long time, and I've never seen her with anyone romantically. Ever. It was like she wasn't even looking, or expecting anyone to like her. She just seemed to wait. And, I've never asked her personally, but I think when Rose started paying more attention to Greg, she got upset. She lost two of her friends to each other. That's what I meant before. She was ignored in favour of Space mum and Space dad's love. I know a little about Pearl and Rose from what Amethyst has told me too, and it seems Amethyst was ignored there too. And Garnet-"

"Garnet is made of love." Peridot interrupted.

"Exactly. That is gem-rock-thing business that I don't know about properly, but I know Garnet never has the need for a relationship. So if you see what I'm saying, Amethyst has always been the odd one out. She's always been without someone to love her…" Vidalia trailed off sadly. The woman grabs and re-organizes her thoughts.

"I'm not saying that everybody needs somebody. It's not everybody's end goal in life to be in the perfect relationship. Having that goal can lead to bad mistakes, especially if you rush into it." She paused to glance at a photo on the fridge, then back at Peridot. "But finding someone you can trust, finding somebody who is there for you, who is your best friend-that will help you get through the toughest of times." Vidalia spoke, fiddling with a golden band on her finger and pulling it off to show Peridot. "That is something everyone needs. This is Yellowtail's. Well, he gave it to me. Do you know what it is? Have your romance shows taught you about this?" she poked her tongue out and winked.

Peridot reached over and touched the golden band gently with her index finger. It was a ring. "It is a ring." She said, not understanding the full gist of Vidalia's insistence on the item.

"Yeah, that's right. But do you know what it means?"

Peridot shook her head.

"It's a wedding ring. It shows that you are married to another person."

"What's 'married'?"

Vidalia didn't bother correcting "It's like, a union of two people. An official one that says to the world 'we love each other!'"

"Oh!" Peridot gasped eagerly "Can Amethyst and I get married?"

"Heh heh, sure. Love is love." Vidalia nodded. She pulled Peridot into a warm hug, with the green gem's head resting on her shoulder. Peridot went stiff at the unexpected contact, but she did not pull away. "Listen. You're really out of this world, and she loves you for it. I hope you understand that _I_ love you for being you, accepting Amethyst and what she thinks of herself. Most of the time, she doubts herself. It's all hidden by a smile, but she's got low self-esteem. People with low self-esteem find it hard to date others because they constantly think they aren't good enough. They take every word from their significant other seriously, and they can accidently read into it too much, twisting what had once been a compliment into an insult. It's pretty sad.

"But it's all about communication, Peridot. And you and Amethyst have really great communication. I _may_ have heard a misunderstanding be resolved and cleared up by you guys from the kitchen. May have." Peridot felt her face heat up. Vidalia had heard her talking about her jealousy?! "Haha, don't be embarrassed! It's fine, don't worry about it. And anyway, from that little outpouring of feelings, I can see that you care about her very much. You don't have any intention of letting go. That's awesome. Be there for her. Because that's what everybody needs."

The green gem was grateful for all this relationship advice, and returned the hug finally. "Thankyou. For understanding me, and helping me. And…I'm sorry you had to hear what you did. I'm quite…uninformed about most things that humans have as social conventions."

They let go of their hug. "I told ya, it's okay!" Vidalia beams.

It's a little bit random, and not very well thought out, but then and there Peridot decided to show how grateful she was by using what she had learnt today. She leaned over and pecked Vidalia on the cheek.

"Oh? Thanks!" The woman smiled, touching her cheek. She could now cross off her bucket list that she has been kissed by a small green alien.

"Peridot…?" Amethyst stood at the door to the living room. The sound of the toilet flushing finished up behind her. She looked pretend-shocked.

"SHE'S MY FRIEND!" Peridot shrieked defensively. "IT'S A FRIENDLY KISS!"

* * *

"Alright, go. Git. Scram. Stop cuddling and kissing at the entrance to my house." Vidalia ushered, pushing at the backs of Peridot and Amethyst. "You can do that when you get back home."

"Aww, but V, we don't live together! I'm gonna miss her!" Amethyst pouted, looking at Vidalia with puppy-dog eyes as the purple gem shuffled out onto the porch with Peridot.

"Well, you can always have a little shorty sleepover at either of your places." Reminded Vidalia, patting their heads as they stood in front of her. They both only came up to her chest.

"We are not inviting Steven." Peridot said lowly.

"Heh. She doesn't mean Shorty Squad, Pear. She's makin' fun of our height just as it is."

Peridot looked to Vidalia "I don't think she should. It is the optimum height for comfortable and easy kissing." She turned and gave Amethyst a nice peck.

"Ok, that's it. Go home." Complained Vidalia, wrapping her arms around the two lovers for a farewell hug. They all snickered.

They broke apart and the gems began to tread out into the night. Vidalia watched them peacefully. Well, that was until Peridot activated her gem torch and spooked the living daylights out of her. She watched as Amethyst fumbled to try and stop her using her hands, and it reminded her of something she wanted to say.

"Amethyst, be good to Peridot. From the looks of it, she's pretty nice, and you've helped her become that. That is my great human knowledge that I pass onto you." She called, bowing at the end. She saw Amethyst wave, and they stopped bickering about the light. Vidalia could make out in the dark that they were holding hands.

The next day, Vidalia used green and purple colours to create her next masterpiece.

* * *

Peridot, you're such an alien. Read up on your human culture please.

Does the title make sense now? A 'holdup' is a thievery. And an artist can be a 'con-artist' - a liar and a thief. Vidalia is a painting artist, and Peridot perceived her as trying to steal Amethyst. See what I did? Can I get a star sticker now? :3 *wags tail*

I played on popular fan theories/headcanons regarding Peridot meeting and interacting with Vidalia!

I think a jealous Peridot would be just as adorable as a jealous Amethyst. It's interesting to note that peridot gemstones can be used in "…releasing jealousies, resentment and spite in order to move forward." I used a bit of crystal symbolism!

I wrote a certain part of this story about love with some readers I've been talking to in mind. I hope people can take what they need from Vidalia's advice. Not one couple experiences love exactly the same as another. It's truly amazing.

Also…

That Amber Roger's art deletion was very suspicious, Crewniverse…. I smell amedot.

Follow me on Tumblr! chozowarrior-nightimep


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